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My feelings during these weird times

Hi there

Here I am again with a new blogpost. Not one about NY this time, but just me telling about the weird time we’re living in at the moment, what I’m doing, what I’m struggling with and what I’m thinking about during this time, living with a pandemic going on in the world.

As you may know (or not), I’m Eline, 24 years old and I’m probably not the only one struggling with myself & with the environment and all the things we can’t do anymore at the moment. I’m a pretty social person, pre corona times, I always had something to do in the weekends, with friends and family. It was either going on a fun weekendtrip, going out, or just having some drinks at home, talking & enjoying our time together. I think the hardest thing of it all is not seeing all these people in real life, for some months, some almost for a year (some of my friends even got a baby, and when I’ll see that baby in real life, it’ll almost be a toddler instead of a small baby). And yes you can go for a walk with your friends, or have a zoom apero (& yes i did all of that), but there’s still a difference between that and seeing a person in real life, reading the person’s emotions when (s)he telling you something and not just reading the text they send you through whatsapp. I really miss the presence of people around me, other than my parents, sister & brother. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a real family person and I’m very blessed to have them around all these months, and don’t have to feel lonely for one second. I really enjoy all the small moments we have together now, but I also miss the long talks I have with my friends, luckily we have an online and social life right know, imagine living 30 years ago and not having that. Celebrating Christmas this year will be very different. Not meeting with my grand parents and the whole family and having an amazing day together will be something I’ll miss. The only thing that pops up in my head being a positive addition in my life would be a puppy. I’ve always wanted one, and I think that it’s almost a good time for me to get one (maybe wait til I have my own place & a steady job :). I would love to just have someone to cuddle all the time and to receive a lot of love from, not feeling that lonely anymore. Another thing I miss is going to concerts & festivals, as music is such an important aspect of my life, I’m happy I have spotify :) but also imagine going to these events, standing close between thousands of (weird and smelly) people you don’t know, and really not care about that at the moment? I think it will take some time to experience that carefree feeling again. Another thing I learned is that it’s really okay to have some different kind of friendships. You can’t be as close to everyone. You can have a good time with some friends when you see them after not hearing from them for some weeks/months. But with others, you can talk about everything every day and have the feeling they know you a little better. It’s also okay to not have a friendship with someone anymore, after some time. If you put a lot of energy in a person, and you don’t get any positive energy back, maybe it’s time to not put any energy in them at all, and that’s okay.

When they announced the first lockdown, and even now the second one going on, how did you feel? I remember feeling weird, and when I think real deep about everything that’s going on in this world, I sometimes ask myself ‘Is this going on for real? In what kind of a world do we live in?’ And when they started talking about the vaccins and saying that they can start vaccinating in January, it suddenly came very close and I catched myself thinking for a split second that I don’t want the first vaccine injected in my body, but on the other hand I have a good trust in all the scientists out there that have been working on this for months. And as I have a person of risk in my family, so of course I want to do everything to keep us safe.

Another aspect going on in my life is the job hunting. I’m 24 years old, I have two diplomas and I’ve been struggling to find a job for over a year. And yes you can say that it’s not the ideal time to look for a job, but that’s not really helping me. On the one hand, I’m only 24 years old and that’s still pretty young, but on the other hand I’m struggling with this & I’m constantly doubting myself when I get a lot of negative answers, ‘you don’t have enough experience’ ’we’re really looking for someone with experience’, okay all good but I have to gain the experience somewhere, right? And I don’t have to start on the number of times I didn’t get an answer at all, in my opinion, that’s so unprofessional. Later, when I’ll be doing a job I really love, the one thing I’m going to do for sure is always answer the emails I’m getting, even when you have to give a negative answer, just out of respect, give them one. I know what my real interests are: social media (just like to be busy with it in general), influencer marketing (I really liked my internship that I had in 2019 at an influencer marketing agency and want to learn a lot more about it, while being on the job), organizing small events where everything looks Pinterest- & Instagram-worthy. Ofcourse I also like reading, music & traveling, but who doesn’t? My perfect job would be organizing small gatherings for brands, where content creators come together, and they can take pictures of the nice setting and all the beautiful things happening on the location (good food and drinks, flowers, an experience going on,…) and where they’ll be having a lot of fun. I really like to start something for myself in the future, I feel like the entrepreneurship has always been something that has been inside of me, and seeing all the cool concepts and pop-ups on the gram, I sometimes wonder if that can’t be me organizing something like that in the future. Unfortunately influencer marketing is not that big in Belgium as for example in the Netherlands. I’ve been following the trends & a lot of influencers for years, and I really recognize the difference there. I’ve also applied for some jobs in the Netherlands, but again, I only got negative answers there (at least I got an answer from them, way to go Belgian market).

I have some friends that are still studying, and I really admire them doing this during these lockdown times. Having all your classes online and not seeing your classmates and teachers in real life, how hard is that? You also really have to have a good discipline. And what about the kids that are in their last year of high school? Lacking on all the fun stuff going on that year (prom, trip abroad, L100) & having a difficult first year of college, not getting to know new people and going to classes in aulas.

As some of you may or may not know I’ve been to New York already 5 times, and I’ve loved every single second being there. In 2018 I did a 5-month during internship there and really had the best time of my life. I learned a lot of new things, not only about myself but also on my internship. I also got to meet some amazing people that I’m glad to call my friends now. I really feel like ‘everything happens for a reason’, but I’m not sure if I count these weird times as that. When Covid-19 wouldn’t be happening now, I really think it would be the perfect timing for me to go back to NYC, maybe for some weeks, maybe some months, who knows. I really just wanna go back, stroll around the city and explore the neighborhoods, meet up with some old friends & just work on myself, unfolding myself. Maybe it sounds very weird or spoiled to you, but for now I really feel I’m the happiest person when I’m there, in the city.

These are very weird times, but we really have to get through it & in the end, we’ll look back at this year, 2020, and we’ll be talking about it with a smile on our faces. (Was I the only person that thought 2020 would be a very special year, not only because of the number but it was just a feeling I had.) We can say I was right, but maybe in a slightly different way :)

I’m glad I wrote all of these words down, maybe I can even say I’m a little relieved.

I hope you’re glad you read this blogpost, and I’ll hope you’ll be reading the next ones as well, as I’ll be writing some more. I really enjoy this.

Let me know what you think & don’t forget to follow my journey on instagram :)

See ya!


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